How to Make This Valentine’s Day REALLY Count

How to Make This Valentine's Day REALLY Count

Valentines Day is coming up. And while it’s certainly a perfect time to buy your wife a gift or go out for a nice dinner – both of which we SHOULD do! – don’t forget to take time to reflect and truly appreciate the soul of the person on this journey with you. Then write it down for her.

Yes, she is a mother – a role that both defines her and likely saturates her every thought, worry and decision.

But first and foremost, she began as your partner – you set out on this journey together.

When my wife and I were planning our wedding, because it was a Catholic ceremony, we needed to pick a reflection song to be sung after Communion. We chose The Servant Song, which is not on any list of typical wedding songs. Although it was not written with a marriage in mind, we agreed it beautifully encapsulates everything it is to be married.

It begins:

Will you let me be your servant,

Let me be as Christ to you;

Pray that I may have the grace to

Let you be my servant, too.

We are pilgrims on a journey,

We are trav’lers on the road;

We are here to help each other

Walk the mile and bear the load.

On our wedding day, the future “miles” and “loads” were mostly theoretical. In the (nearly) 25 years since, both have become very real. All relationships are messy and over time, frayed nerves and stress contribute to words and actions we all regret. In addition, life throws both unbridled joy and unimaginable tragedy right into your face. It’s messy. And scary. And yet…

I will hold the Christ-light for you

In the night-time of your fear;

I will hold my hand out to you,

Speak the peace you long to hear.

I will weep when you are weeping;

When you laugh I’ll laugh with you.

I will share your joy and sorrow

‘Til we’ve seen this journey through.

Through it all, she is there. In my darkness. Easing my fears. Proud of my accomplishments. Pushing through the chaos by choosing to love. Even when I don’t deserve to be liked.

On this Valentine’s Day, let’s reconnect to those tender moments of support and peace and laughter. The ones that define your wife as the only person you could ever take this journey with.

Grab a pen. Take a full time-out from the chaos. Wipe the world’s mud off your goggles. And look at this woman’s soul with clear and thoughtful eyes.

Write down why it’s her. And only her.

Why you’re thankful for her today and everyday.

How she has been your rock. And how you will be her rock when she is dismayed, distressed or distraught.

Words matter. Write them to her.

Then LIVE them for her.

Every day from today until next Valentine’s Day.

Then repeat.

If you enjoyed this post, you may find more stuff you like in my new book,

Dad On Purpose: The Busy Dad’s Playbook for Loving Better, Doing More and Breathing Easier

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How to Make This Valentine’s Day REALLY Count