Do As I Do (End of Sentence)

“And as I hung up the phone it had occurred to me

He’d grown up just like me, my boy was just like me”

– from “Cat’s in the Cradle”

by Cat Stevens

 

Is it just me or is the expression “Do as I say, not as I do” stupid?

 

It’s most often something adults say to kids when adults want to be immature and don’t want to be questioned about “knowing better” by someone younger – usually their own kids.

 

Fortunately, good dads rarely rely on this lazy tactic and most kids are smart enough to understand it’s total crap. Actions, of course, speak louder than words.

 

When I was a kid there was only one song my dad hated. I remember driving to baseball with him one day when we heard it come on the radio. His arm shot over to turn the station so quickly, I thought he was swatting a bug. Instead, he was shutting off the song that he silently vowed would never be his reality.

 

Harry Chapin’s classic “Cat’s in the Cradle” pulls at heartstrings young and old. It recounts a young father whose busy life crowds out the quality time his son craves. The son repeatedly expresses how much he idolizes his father with “I’m gonna be like you, Dad. You know I’m gonna be like you.”

 

The boy eventually grows into a young father himself, busy with a new job and sick kids. His father, now retired with time and perspective, calls his son to see if they can get together.

 

The boy responds with, “I’d love to, Dad, if I can find the time. You see, my new job’s a hassle, and the kids have the flu, but it’s been sure nice talking to you, Dad. It’s been sure nice talking to you.”

 

The pensive, regretful, and now lonely father then observes, “And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me, he’d grown up just like me. My boy was just like me.”

 

If we knew how much power and influence we have over our children’s lives and worldview, we’d be terrified.

 

Rightly.

 

Many men are blind to the magnitude of this responsibility, and a few even choose to be. But that doesn’t make it go away.

 

Our actions and example speak more loudly to our children’s souls than our words ever could.

 

For good and for ill.

 

We are the model for how they will live their lives, whether we want to be or not.

 

We look at ourselves in the mirror and know we’re just a guy. And an imperfect one at that. 

 

But that’s not how our kids see it.

 

They watch the big things we do and the little.

 

Even when we’re tired. Perhaps especially then.

 

We teach them more with one action than we could with a thousand words.

 

 

Take a moment today to ask yourself, “How much or how well do I…”

 

 

The answers to these questions become the blueprint for the lives they are building before our eyes.

 

If we aren’t happy with our answers, we can change them…

 

Just not with our words.